Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

Sweaty palms, a speeding heartbeat, and an expression of pure joy were all yours to enjoy when you first met your new love interest.  Colors seemed more vivid.  Every song on the radio sounded like it was made for the two of you.  You couldn’t believe how much you had in common.  You’d never laughed so freely and loved so openly before.

The relationship soon became comfortable.  As a couple, you made mutual friends and became known as a pair.  Taking your partners feelings into consideration, you were careful to treat them with respect at all times.  More often than not, you could be found by your new mate’s side during your free time.

It doesn’t matter what the reason was for your break-up.  At some point, things turned sour.  Whether it was one huge unforgivable fight or several small incidences that slowly built up resentment over time, the stress was too much for your relationship to bear.  All of a sudden you find yourself single again, and the world is a new place.  Even the little things, like going grocery shopping, are different now that you are shopping for one.  Emotionally, you’re a wreck.  How do you cope with the flood of feelings that you are experiencing right now without suffering a total break down?

Don’t Deny What You Feel

Acknowledging that you are in pain is the first step.  Denying that breaking up with your former lover hurts is as useful as pretending that a broken arm is just a scratch.  It doesn’t change the truth, and you can’t heal until you admit what’s really going on.  You shouldn’t try to put on a strong front or act as if it doesn’t bother you at all.  You aren’t fooling anyone, especially not yourself.

Accept the fact that you are feeling lonely, sad, angry, and confused.  If you did something wrong that ultimately caused the separation, you may also feel guilty.  If you were a victim of a cheating significant other, you probably feel betrayal.  Allow yourself to feel all of these emotions fully, and don’t repress them just because they are difficult.  Once you’ve let yourself embrace the distress, you can take steps to get past the agony.

Learn from Your Mistakes

Some times it is hard to imagine what good could come from a hurtful termination of a once loving relationship.  When someone you cared about hurts you, or if you made a mistake that changed the way your partner felt about you, you become so engulfed in the negative feelings that result that you can’t seem to see a “bright side”.  You should know that there can always be a silver lining to every cloud – if only for you to learn from the experience.

It will make it easier for you to cope with the trauma of losing your love interest if you realize that there is a lesson to be learned from all of this.  Ask yourself what new knowledge you have gained because of this breakup.  What can you take from this failed relationship to improve on the next one?  How can you better yourself through this situation?  The best way to deal with an emotionally draining dissolution of a relationship is to try to extract something positive, no matter how obscure that “bright side” may be.  You are hurting now, but in time, these sad feelings will dissipate.  On the other hand, the lessons you’ve learned will always stay with you.

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